(First article of a two part series.)
What’s going on? You didn’t ask for this! You don’t remember ever signing up to be shot at with fiery darts or arrows. All you know is that one day, it happened, one arrow was shot at you, and then suddenly there was another, then another. These arrows aren’t made of wood and fire, oh, no, they’d be too easy to see coming. They’re invisible and that makes them almost impossible to defend. They always hit their target – your heart. They are sharp, deadly WORDS. Now, you’re in the middle of this one sided war, hiding in your foxhole, praying the enemy will just give up or get bored and leave you alone.
Fellow reluctant soldier, have you been wounded by any of these effective, but common, attack tactics? Tactic 1, The Sneak Attack: You’re enjoying a pleasant conversation with a fellow Christian when suddenly you’re blindsided. Dazed by the direct hit to your heart, you repeat their words in your head, “Maybe if you prayed more…”. I wonder if you’ve ever been wounded by the same Sneak Attack fired at me, in a rare moment of opening up and sharing my hurt and worry, I was hit with, “Well, maybe you need to stop praying and start believing.” Ouch. That single comment led me to months of beating myself up for not having enough faith. I wrestled with how I was suppose to even pray. Oh, but then there was the comment (another Sneak Attack, drat!) that almost earned a black eye, “But, you know, if Seth dies, he’ll be in a better place.” (This was said when he probably wasn’t even a week old, and I wanted so badly just to take him home and be his mother.) Or, how about Tactic 2, The Broad Daylight Attack? You have a person you dread seeing because you know they’ll come at you with guns blazing. You spot them coming, try to get away, but there is nothing you can do. They hunt you down and when they’re finally satisfied that they’ve shown you the errors of your ways they leave picked apart and bloodied. Then there’s Tactic 3, otherwise known as The God Bomb. It’s the common, “Well, God said…”. As soon as those words are spoken, you brace yourself for either a blessing or a fiery dart. You have no way of knowing if you’re going to be encouraged or slaughtered until it’s over.
We could go on couldn’t we? I’m sure you’ve been stung by harsh “advice” like this and worse from fellow Christians. Notice I didn’t say, “Well meaning” Christians. I’m not convinced that their intentions are always good. Sometimes Christians are down right judgmental and believe your sin is the cause of your child’s health problems. Other Christians do mean well (even the ones who tell you that your child is better off dead). They just don’t know how to be supportive and end up unintentionally saying something hurtful. Still others try to smoother you and “fix” things. They assume they know what needs to be done and step all over your toes, leaving you frustrated in their effort to help.
These surprise and not so surprising attacks make it tempting to stay in your foxhole and avoid enemy fire at all cost. Keeping people at a distance and guarding your heart sound like wise survival techniques. But just surviving isn’t living the abundant life that Jesus wants for us, ( John 10:10, NIV)”The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I came that they may have life, and have it abundantly.” In fact, hiding out isn’t really living at all, is it? We need to not only be free to live, but we really need to reach out because this burden of worry and fear is just too much for one person to carry. Of course, God is with us, but He also wants us to be blessed by true friendship – the kind that willingly walks through storms together. With these friends we can put our concerns and hurt into words and speak them out loud. It’s amazing at how quickly our problems lose power when they are named. Suddenly they are smaller and their grip on our hearts loosen. We also gain the power that comes from another person’s prayers. That’s what a true friend will do for you. You’re sorrow becomes their prayer.
What happens when you stay quiet about whatever is on your heart? Satan dances with joy. He has you right where he wants you. He knows that your worries and fears will grow until they are larger than life and control you. He also knows that they will build a wall between you and the one you need most – God. We have to understand that when we are stuck in fear, we are not trusting God and our relationship is damaged. Now, avoid the temptation to beat yourself if you recognize that is exactly where you are. Simply go to your Father, ask for forgiveness and His help to trust Him.
OK, so the answer isn’t to shun people for the rest of our lives, but what do you do? Let’s start by recognizing that we’re dealing with 2 different kinds of situations. In one, we have the times that people are offering unsolicited advice. You may be making small talk with them when they zap you with their dart. They may even go so far as to seek you out just so they can give you their opinion. In the other situation, you are reaching out to someone because you need support. Your heart lies wide open, and they sting you with their harsh point of view.
Both situations hurt because no one knows your struggle like you do. They don’t know how much you’ve prayed or how hard you’ve fought to have faith. They have no idea what you go through on a daily basis.
So, back to our question, what do we do? First, we have to recognize our need for our Father’s protection. Paul tells us exactly why we need God’s special armor in Ephesians 6:11-12 (NKJ), “Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil. For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this age, against spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places.” Then, we determine to never leave home without it. Forget home! We should never let our feet hit the bedroom floor before putting it on each morning!
(Don’t worry! Part 2 is coming on Thursday 
. Stay tuned to find out more about the armor, how to put it on, how to use it AND make REAL friend!)
In His Love,
Kimberly
Have you picked up your copy of “The Faith Challenge” yet? Dear friend, don’t wait any longer to grow that faith – you need it !
