Mary Kane of www.onlybyprayer.com

I just love Mary, and her genuine passionate love of God.  As I wrote to Mary, this is not an easy topic, but it’s incredibly important.

Instead of sharing my thoughts with you now (because God laid a lot on my heart as I did this study), I’ve created a follow up post.  I hope that you will be blessed with the freedom and joy that I believe God wants to give you.  Spend some time with Mary, let God speak to your heart, and please come back tomorrow .  We’ll look at how we can be “doers” even during our child’s illness – and how the enemy tries to keep us as hearers only.

To save Mary’s Take 5! onto your computer, just right click the link below.

Take 5! Being Doers and Hearers

In His Love,

Kimberly

kimberly@kimberlyehlers.com

It’s not so easy to have the Christmas Spirit when your child has a serious or chronic illness.  December can be such a hard month for our kids – the cold weather, the busyness of the holidays, the cold and flu bugs that seem to be everywhere we go.  Your child may be sick right now, as is mine.  You may actually be in the hospital with your little one.  OR your child may be healthy as of this moment, but it feels like a ticking time bomb ready to explode any second.

On top of caring for your child and worrying about their health, you’re suppose to be baking cookies, buying presents, and, well, being merry!  It seems like an awful lot to ask, doesn’t it?

Yes, actually, it is a lot.  You DON’T have to do it all.  Please know, though, that whatever you do (or don’t do) to celebrate Christmas is OK.  It’s OK, everyone will survive and Christmas will still be joyful if you have to put aside some of the things you normally do, like baking those cookies.  Buy some cookies from the store; put them on a Christmassy plate, and viola!  Easy Christmas cookies everyone will enjoy – regardless of who made them.  Now, if baking cookies brings you joy, bake away!  Love every minute of it!  Let it go, though, if the whole idea brings you more stress.
This is about more than just making cookies too.  While others seem to run from one fun activity to the next, you may need to weed them out.  You know what?  I’m sure you know what I’m going to say.  It’s OK!  It’s OK to say no.  More activities do not mean more Christmas spirit or a better Christmas.  Don’t get me wrong!  There’s nothing wrong with the extras.  I look at the parties, the programs, the baking, and the decorating as fun ways to celebrate Christ, but they aren’t necessities.  I encourage us all to say no to whatever causes more stress or keeps us too busy to make Christmas really matter.

Deep down we know what makes a better Christmas, don’t we?  We know it’s having our hearts centered on Christ.  It’s being and celebrating with our families.  Ezekiel 34:11 tells us, “For thus says the Lord GOD: ‘Indeed I Myself will search for My sheep and seek them out,’” (NKJV). That’s what Christmas is all about.  Our Savior left His Heavenly throne to find us.  He came to give us rest, restore our souls,  to protect and bless us (Psalm 23), and, ultimately, to save us.  He didn’t come to watch us rush from one activity to the next, wearing ourselves out and too busy to talk with Him.  He tells us, “My sheep hear My voice, and I know them, and they follow Me,” (John 10:27, NKJV).  This Christmas, are we listening for our Good Shepherd’s voice?  Are we resting with Him and staying close to His side as we go about our day?  That’s the Christmas spirit, the peacefulness of life with Christ all because of that sacred night so long ago.  While our children’s illness makes us worry and often causes us to “miss out” on the fun, we have an opportunity that others miss in their hustle and bustle.  We’re forced to slow down and even be still.  We’re given the time to listen to our Shepherd’s voice.

I have some resources I’d like to share with you that will help you build up the true Christmas spirit (believe me, some of it’s actually fun!):

In His Love,

Kimberly

kimberly@kimberlyehlers.com

Matthew 7:24-25, New King James Version

     A firm foundation, knowing and standing on God’s Word, will get us through any storm – just like this lighthouse was designed to do.  That’s what Jesus promises us.  A firm foundation is what exactly what you need, Dear One, to get through the storm of your child’s illness.  Jesus wants you to have the kind of faith that will withstand the high winds of fear, the downpour of frightening circumstances, and the high waters of this disease that threaten to drowned you.  He wants you to stand firm believing, trusting, in His promise to never leave you (Joshua 1: 5) and that He is working for your good even now(Romans 8:28).

     So, we know that we are to listen to God’s Word (read the Bible) and live it, but it just isn’t that simple.  How do we make it easy?  How do we firm up our foundation?

     Below, you will find 2 lists.  The first is full of ideas to build that foundation, but it’s not exhausted.  I’m sure you will come up with your own ideas too.  The second list will help you identify things that can cause cracks in your foundation.

     Looking at the Firm Foundation list, do you see things that you know you are lacking?  Notice that I have both Bible Time and Bible Study.  Bible Time is a devotional time that you spend reading God’s Word and thinking about it’s message for you.  Devotions are perfect for this (see “The Faith Challenge” for devotions designed to build your faith through your child’s illness).  Bible Study is a time of using tools like a concordance,  Bible dictionary, or a really good Bible created to give you historical and geographical information (and more).  Bible Study can also been done with a group.

     What if you don’t have a friend you can count on? Please, don’t wait any longer, hoping someone will come through.  Be the first to reach out and nurture a new friendship or a friendship that has grown apart.

     To some of you, Time to Yourself may have stood out.  You may not be comfortable with the idea of “Me Time”.  Doing things that you enjoy is necessary to your mental and spiritual health.  Get in touch with the woman God created you to be.  It can be for 5 minutes every day or one big day a month.  You will come back to your family renewed and more able to weather a storm.

     Where do you begin?  Start with prayer, seeking God’s guidance for where He would like you to begin firming up your foundation.  He may want you to heal or end a relationship that is draining you.  He may want you to spend some time focused on your husband.  Whatever you do, resist the urge to do it all.  Lay one brick at a time, fix one crack at a time.

     If you have any questions about the lists above or would like to share what you’ve added to them, please do!  You can share below in the comment box.

In His Love,

Kimberly

On Sunday, we were blessed to hear Terry Mortenson, PhD, MDiv from Answers in Genesis speak on the topic “Creation vs. Evolution: Why it Matters”.  I wanted to share something he said that was a healing salve to my soul ~ and I pray it will be the same for you.

To understand the healing, I think we need to uncover the hurt first.  I want to share these details of my struggle in the hopes that it may help you to see your own feelings more clearly and allow you to receive healing too.

When Seth was first born, he was given a diagnosis that terrified me.  He would have multiple open-heart surgeries leaving him with 1/2 a functioning heart.  My soul cried against it and my mouth argued with the doctors who insisted on giving it!  It didn’t sit well with me because it did not fit with my desires for my son or with who I believed God to be – a good, loving, healing God.  It wasn’t right.

Two realities were clashing inside and around me – the reality of the medical world and my reality of my God and what should happen in His world.  As the years went on and this battle of two worlds continued, I was often very confused.  In fact, it caused me to feel that I had to be doing something wrong.  Maybe I wasn’t accepting God’s will and He was angry.  Maybe I wasn’t praying/believing/thinking right.  That began a journey on “The Road to Self-Destruction”.  (Those of you who were part of my teleseminar “The Messy Motives of a Worried Mom” will recognize that phrase.  Those you who weren’t there will be able to read more about it in the e-book of the same name that I’m currently writing.)  I’d use the Bible to beat myself up.  After all, if I was a good Christian and really had faith, wouldn’t I be OK, peaceful even, with whatever might happen?

This is what Dr. Mortenson shared yesterday.  He asked, if we are animals and death is natural, why do we cry when our four month old dies?  Why do we cry when someone when love dies?  This is a rough quote, but what he said next both healed my old hurt and brought peace.  He said, “We should cry because it isn’t right.  Our soul knows it.”

According to Genesis, God created His world to be good.  Sickness and death are not good, but they entered our world with the original sin.  God never intended for children (or anyone) to get sick and die.  That sin opened the flood gates of Hell and separated us from God.  Thank God, that through Christ, we can be fully reconciled to Him, and the enemy has no real power over us or our eternal souls.  The fact remains, though, that sin and the enemy run rampet over the earth and we still suffer their consequences.  The Holy Spirit in us cries to the Father, in pain, “This isn’t right!  This isn’t what we wanted the world to be like!”

So, now I have peace.  My spirit fought against Seth’s diagnosis because it isn’t right for a child of God.  I’m so grateful for a Father who will walk us each down the road of our unique journeys.  To some, He will give peace to accept a diagnosis; others will be stirred up against it.  Praise God that He doesn’t leave us to suffer the consequences of sin on our own. 

Romans 8:26-28
Amplified Bible (AMP)

Thank God for the Holy Spirit who also guides us to Him.  Not only that, the Spirit urges us to pray and even prays for us.  He is certainly our Helper (John 14:16).  May the truth that the Helper is with you always and that God is working for your good give you hope, Dear One.  I pray you will also find peace knowing that the illness your child suffers does not please the LORD, it is not right to Him either, and He will not let you face it alone.

In His Love,

Kimberly

I’m blessed to be taking an excellent class given by, my sweet friend, Beth Jones of www.bethjones.net.  During our first class she encouraged us to do a Bible study of all the verses that contain the words “but God”.

I have to tell you that I’ve only read 7 of these verses so far, and all of them are in Genesis.  But, oh, has it been powerful reading! (I did my search at www.biblegateway.com.)

As I read my “but God” verses, I had two things jump out at me – the impure plans of mankind and how they contrasted against God’s good plans.  Praise God that He still wants our very best and we can take these promises from His Holy Word and hold tightly to them during our child’s illness.

While I certainly encourage you to do your own study on “but God” verses, I wanted to share a few that reveal something you need to know – God truly is love.  That love is demonstrated through His plans for us.  If you’re a regular reader of mine, you have probably heard me share Jeremiah 29:11 many times, so today I’ll share a different version, “‘For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the LORD, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future,’” (NIV).  There’s also a beautiful “but God” verse that expresses the same idea a little differently,“But as for you, you meant evil against me; but God meant it for good, in order to bring it about as it is this day, to save many people alive,” (Genesis 50:20, NKJV).

We tend to view the Old Testament as the book of law and the New Testament as the book of God’s grace and love.  It can be hard to see His love through all the bloodshed found in the Old Testament – but it’s there and these “but God” verses help us to see it.  Not only do these verses show God’s love, but they give us guidance on how to weather the storm of multiple decisions we have to make for our child’s care.  No, God doesn’t give us “one size fits all” answers to our problems.  He didn’t make us, or the plans for our lives, with a cookie cutter.  These verses do show us the one thing we all have to do…

Remember the story of Sarah, Abraham’s wife, and Hagar?  (If not, you can find it in the book of Genesis.)  Sarah demanded that Hagar and her son be cast out.  Abraham hated the idea.  “But God said to Abraham, ‘Do not let it be displeasing in your sight because of the lad or because of your bondwoman. Whatever Sarah has said to you, listen to her voice; for in Isaac your seed shall be called.  Yet I will also make a nation of the son of the bondwoman, because he is your seed,’” (Genesis 21:12-13, NKJV).  Sarah’s plan was to lash out and hurt.  God’s plan was to bring peace and prosperity.

Sometimes, like Abraham, we are called to go along with man’s plan, trusting that God will make what we perceive as wicked, glorious.  To make the good that only God can see (for now, anyway) happen, we have to listen and do that hard thing we don’t want to do.  I couldn’t imagine any good coming from my son suffering through another open-heart surgery, but we listened, went along with the doctor’s plan, and now our son is fully healed.

But, there are certain times when God does not want us to follow a man’s plan, or our own.  In Genesis 31, we read about Jacob taking his wives and fleeing their father, Laban.  Laban pursued them, intending to punish Jacob. “Then he took his brethren with him and pursued him for seven days’ journey, and he overtook him in the mountains of Gilead.  But God had come to Laban the Syrian in a dream by night, and said to him, ‘Be careful that you speak to Jacob neither good nor bad,’” (Genesis 31:23-24, NKJV).  Laban’s plan was to harm.  God’s plan was to protect.  Laban listened to God and obeyed.

We are called to go through such hard things as we walk the journey of our child’s illness.  We didn’t ask for their sickness.  We don’t want to see them suffer.  We don’t want to risk their lives through a surgery or anything else.  We just want our child to be OK.  Listen to Jacob’s dying words.  “Then Israel said to Joseph, ‘Behold, I am dying, but God will be with you and bring you back to the land of your fathers,’” (Genesis 48:21, NKJV).  Israel knew he had to go.  We know our child’s health will take us through dark days, but God’s plan is the same for us as it was for Joseph.  He will stay with us (even when others abandon us) through it all.  He will also protect us and provide a way out of the darkness.

Did you notice all the words I underlined that describe God’s plan for good?  This is the “good” He has planned for you.  He wants peace and prosperity for you; to protect and provide your needs.  He wants to stay by your side.  Do you feel His great love for you?

But how do you know when you are to follow man’s (the doctor’s) plans or not?  Did you catch the thing that our verses had in common?  The people listened and did according to God’s plan.  Listening to God can be so hard in this noisy world.  We will not hear Him unless we take the time to be quiet before Him.  Our concerns can consume us, making it easy for our prayers to be cluttered with our own words and thoughts.  When we need God the most, we need to be the most quiet.  Of course, give Him your concerns, but allow time to sit silently at His feet.  His plan may come to you there in the quiet, but it may come right at the moment you need it most.  You may experience God’s gentle peace that tells you, “It will be OK.  Follow the doctor’s plan – I’ll be here every step of the way, and I have something very good planned.”  It may also be the feeling that everything in you is saying, “No!  Don’t do this!”  God can make His “yes” and His “no” very clear if we prepare our hearts to listen. 

We’ve all experienced things not going according to plan.  Can you look back now and see God’s plan instead?  With our children’s illnesses, we are blessed to see the good results of God changing our plans, though, sometimes we don’t always see those results right away.  What has your “but God” experience been?  What good came from it?

In His Love,
Kimberly

It happened once again, another well meaning, but misguided Christian offered this advice to a mother whose child’s life is hanging in the balance, “Remember God will never give you more than you can handle.”

I don’t know how that saying makes you feel, but, honestly, it frustrates me. Why?  Well, let me say this as gently as possible incase it is something you have believed, but it is not what the Bible teaches.  You will not find it anywhere in Scripture.  In fact, the constant thread being woven throughout God’s Word is how utterly dependent we are on Him. 

God did not give Moses the job of freeing the slaves because he could handle it.  Moses had no skills for this calling.  He was not a natural speaker who could easily convince the Pharaoh to let God’s people go.  He wasn’t a natural leader.  He didn’t have the means to supply the nation with all their traveling needs – food, water, or even safety.  This was beyond what Moses could handle, and his weakness glorified God.

David was a gifted young man.  He had skills, looks, and a humble heart that sought God constantly.  All that combined to make him a great king.  He lived his life with and for God before and during his reign, being sure to take every plan to the LORD.  He strived to do only what God told Him to do.  David did not take the job as a warrior or king because he thought he could handle it.  He did it all dependent on the LORD of Israel.  His dependence gained him prosperity and gave God the glory.

I could go on.  The Bible is full of examples of people dependent on God to get them through the trials of their lives.  It’s also full of examples of what happens when people try to shoulder their troubles on their own.  King Asa pops into my mind immediately.  He had great faith, but his dependence on God grew less and less over the years.  When faced with war and sickness, he chose to trust in his own wisdom and turn to “experts” for help.  The result?  He was separated from God and he lost his life.

Where does this myth come from?  It comes from taking Scripture and using it incorrectly.  This is the original verse found in 1 Corinthians 10:13, “No temptation has overtaken you except such as is common to man; but God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will also make the way of escape, that you may be able to bear it.”  Paul is addressing the issue of the temptation to sin.  We cannot take it and apply it to our trials because it would go against what the rest of the Bible teaches.  I also believe this saying, “God will never give you more than you can handle,” has been repeated so often people honestly believe it’s a verse.

I fear, though, that it may also come from our sin nature.  Our American society loves self-reliance and pride.  These 2 things easily become sin when we believe we don’t need God and can do it ourselves.  As Christians we have to be mindful of these temptations to not need God.

I understand that some people like this saying because it gives them peace.  I’m sorry that if debunking this myth robs you of peace, but, I hope that you will let the true words of God give you real, genuine peace.  These are truths we can trust in:

“Jesus said to him, ‘If you can believe, all things are possible to him who believes,’” (Mark 9:23, New King James Version.)

“I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me,” (Philippians 4:13, New King James Version).

“Be strong and of good courage, do not fear nor be afraid of them; for the LORD your God, He is the One who goes with you. He will not leave you nor forsake you,” (Deuteronomy 31:6, New King James Version).

Do you see the relationship in these verses?  We are called to do our part – have faith and go through our trial.  God will also do His part, the bigger part. We are the tool He works through.  We’re not being told that we can do it!  Or that we are strong enough to handle anything!  We are being told that by our faith in Christ, He can come in and do the heavy work for us.  We don’t produce the strength – He gives us His.

Can I tell you the other reason why this myth frustrates me?  How is that mother who can not handle even the thought of losing her child suppose to respond?  What happens to the mom who is completely broken, and then is told that God thinks she can handle it?  I’ve been there, and I’m pretty sure you’ve been there too.  We know we can not handle this.  We are already so frightened and helpless – then we top it off with guilt and feelings of failure.  If we believe God thinks we should be able to deal with all of this, He becomes our judge instead of our rescuer.  God judges our sin; Jesus paid our cost.  God does not judge our inability to get through a trial on our own as a failure or a sin.  It’s the very opposite!  He rejoices when we realize how much we need Him and surrender to His care.  That’s when we finally get it.  That’s when we know deep in our heart that the only way to get through this is if He carries us through on His strength.  When we reach that point, God will come in and be all that He wants to be to us – our shelter, rescuer, deliverer, healer, and so much more!

If you are one who has believed this myth, I pray you do not feel judged.  My point is not to condemn anyone, but to ease their burdens and give hope with the truth.  If we can hand our burden over to God instead of staying determined to carry it all, we are handing our child over to the only One who does the impossible.

Let’s replace the myth with the truth – you can do all things through Christ who strengthens you!

In His Love,
Kimberly
kimberly@kimberlyehlers.com

This is the last journal entry I’ll be sharing and it’s from 2 days before Seth’s surgery.

Deuteronomy 4:4  But you who held fast to the Lord your God are alive today, everyone of you.

4:7 Only take heed to yourself, and diligently keep yourself, lest you forget the things your eyes have seen and lest they depart from your heart all the days of your life.  And teach them to your children and to your grandchildren.

It’s hard now, with the surgery date 2 days away, but I will hold fast to the Lord.  I have to remember all that He’s done for us, not let my family forget and pass it on.  I have to tell what He’s done!

What’s funny to me is the last line, “I have to tell what He’s done!”  God had already done so much to heal Seth, but I had no idea what He had in store for us through the surgery.

The thing that was hard for me was still praying and hoping God would close the holes in Seth’s heart Himself and we could avoid surgery altogether.  Those holes seemed so small compared to the defects He had healed! 

I would never tell people, “Seth’s surgery will be July 22.”  Saying that felt like I was closing the door to the possibility of God healing Seth.  I’d say instead, “His surgery is scheduled for July 22.”  Praying for healing, but preparing physically for surgery (getting packed and the pre-operation doctor visits) just didn’t go together.  It was especially hard when Seth asked me if I’d given up hope.  I worried what this was doing to his faith.  I had to trust God with all of Seth – his physical and spiritual beings both.   If you listened to Seth’s interview, I think you can see the health of his faith.  Did you miss it?  Go to http://kimberlyehlers.com/?p=2150 , it’s a short 25 minute interview that will bless you beyond measure!

In His Love,

Kimberly

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P.S.   Are you having trouble holding fast to the LORD?  Are you feeling separated from Him or are you carrying guilt that keeps you away from Him?  Please join me for The Messy Motives of a Worried Mom teleseminar.  You are not alone and you do not have to stary separated from the Father who loves you.  Go to http://kimberlyehlers.com/?p=2170 and register today!

P.S.S   Stay tuned for information on the BIG sale coming this Friday, July 22!  It’s a day we love to celebrate, and we want to celebrate with you!

At the end of the journal entry I shared yesterday, I mentioned how much I had doubted God throughout the years.  Worrying about whether or not He would take care of Seth and give Him great health was the norm for me.  That’s why the peace I felt the month before Seth’s surgery was such a miracle in itself – a complete gift of God.

Deuteronomy 2:7 “For the Lord your God has blessed you in all the work of your hands.  He knows your trudging through this great wilderness.  These 40 years the Lord your God has been with you; you have lacked nothing.”

God has blessed us!  I love the descriptive word trudging – He knows how hard our journey has been because He has been there with us!  For these 11 years He’s been with us and we have never lacked.  We certainly haven’t lacked His grace.  How many times has He rescued us just like now, giving me joy and excitement on the eve of Seth’s surgery?  He’s captured my thoughts so that I can’t focus on bad memories and the “what ifs”.

I was experiencing the peace beyond understanding that Paul describes in Philippians 4:7.

In His Love,

Kimberly

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Are you experiencing this peace I described or are you wrapped in worry?  Feeling as though God isn’t with you on this journal.  Dear One, join me for my Messy Motives of a Worried Mom teleseminar.  It’s absolutely free and it will help you to break through the worry and silence.  Go to http://kimberlyehlers.com/?p=2170 and register TODAY!

     As we get closer to Friday, Seth’s big 2nd Healthy Heart Anniversary, I’d like to share with you some of my journal entries from the week before his life-changing surgery.  I remember all the long years of struggling with fear and faith, they seemed to last a life time.  Now, here we are getting ready to celebrate 2 years of Seth being healthy!
     To be clear for those who don’t know Seth’s story, his 2nd Anniversary marks the date of his last open-heart surgery.  It was the surgery that changed his health completely.  By sewing 2 holes closed, Seth’s oxygen level went from the low 80s to normal.  If you listened to his interview, Seth also shared how this changed his overall health. 
     We look back on this day with joy and thanksgiving because God has given him a new lease on life, but it’s also mixed with the hard memories of facing such a scary surgery and the pain he dealt with during recovery.
     Over the next couple of days, I’d like to share with you pieces from my journal of the week before his surgery.  Each entry begins with the Scripture I had read as part of my time with God.  Please keep in mind this is unedited, straight from my journal.
      Let me give you a little background information.  At this time, we were doing “The Faith Challenge” as a family, praying for a miracle.  When Seth was a baby, we witnessed God growing Seth’s right ventricle and tricuspid valve, and that is what I’m referring to in my journal.

Deuteronomy 1:29-33  Wow!  Yes, God did so much for the Israelites, but I can take those same verses and apply them to me and all that He’s done for us.

“Do not be terrified or afraid.  YHWH who goes before you, He will fight for you, according to all He did for you already before your eyes (made Seth’s right ventricle grow – we saw that!), and all these 11 years you’ve seen how YHWH carried you, as a man carries his son.  Yet, for all that, you did not believe the Lord your God YHWH, who went in the way before you to show you the way you should go.”

He fights for us, carries us, and guides us!  He does everything!

Even knowing how much God had done for us, there were so many times I still managed to doubt.  It’s too easy to forget what He’s done .  I think that’s why throughout the Bible there’s a constant theme of remembering.  From the Old Testament to the New, they retell the stories of what God has done over and over again.

What has God done for you that you need to remember?

In His Love,

Kimberly

Did you miss Seth’s interview yesterday?  Oh, make sure you take the time (just 25 minutes!) to listen.  It is going to bless and encourage you moms.  Here’s the link: http://kimberlyehlers.com/?p=2150 .

Seth enjoying his healthy heart on a hike.

      I can’t wait for you to hear this interview!  Oh, I know God has something special in store for you!  As I interviewed Seth, asking the questions so many of you, my friends (and family ) asked, I was just in awe.  The message he has for you parents and your kids as they face their illness is beautiful and encouraging.  Seth will not only give you hope but some really practical information.  You will be blessed!

Stopping just long enough to give me a "pose". I think it goes perfectly with the music on our audio. What do you think?

Download audio file (Seth’sinterviewnomusic.mp3)

click arrow to listen

To download, right click this link – Seth

 At the beginning, I talk about the theme music played to start our interview, but the music has since been removed.  Sorry for the confusion!