I guess you could say I’m a little rebellious.
When Seth was born with multiple heart defects, we had the opportunity to join a support group for “Heart Families”. He was referred to as “Heart Baby”, and we were “Heart Mom” and “Heart Dad”. I hated those labels. Every time we were called one of those names or received a letter addressing us in those terms a picture jumped in my head. It was a picture of Seth’s defected heart consuming us all and who we are as children of God.
I confess that I did respond in anger to a nurse who sweetly called Seth their “heart baby”. Through clenched teeth, I said, “His name is Seth.” That was the beginning of my rebellion against illness.
Yes, I was well aware that Seth had multiple heart defects, but his heart didn’t define him. I knew that he was my baby, and he would grow to have his own likes and dislikes. He would have his own dreams, thoughts, and feelings. Someday, maybe, he would beg us for a kitten, or maybe he’d want a puppy (just so you know, Seth is 11 now, has 2 cats and is now begging for the dog!). As important as his heart is, I knew it wasn’t him. You couldn’t know anything about him by being told he had heart defects – at least not the important stuff. We weren’t ashamed of Seth’s heart defects, but every time he was labeled, his personhood was insulted.
Then came my big step into officially becoming a rebel. I contacted this “support” group to make sure we were taken off the mailing list and explained why. I highlight the word support because I do have to question just how supportive a group is that insists on it’s members being their sickness or defect. By grabbing claim to a label we surrender to the illness. We say, “This is who I am. This is who my child is. This is our life.” That doesn’t feel encouraging or hopeful, and those are qualities I believe a support group needs to have – along with the ability to walk along side one another.
When we identify ourselves with sickness, we begin to slide down the slippery slope of who we truly worship. If I see my child as the heart defects he was born with, who will be the most important person in my life? The people who are the heart experts – his doctors will be my focus. It will become very easy to be dependent on those doctors, to need them, and to hold on to their words.
This is where I got tripped up. It happened so quickly. I thought that God was using one doctor in particular, and I put him on a pedestal. I believed God was revealing and doing His plan through this man – as if the Lord was giving him His insight. God painfully (for me) removed this doctor from the high place I had put them. I was left empty handed with no human to grab on to. It turns out, that’s the way God wanted me.
Sweetly, He reminded me who I was to set my eyes on and who actually had The Plan. In Jeremiah 29: 11 He says, “For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the LORD, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and hope.” He had The Plan for my family then and now. He has The Plan for your family. He wants to give you and your child a future and a hope!
He’s also shown me that while He uses doctors, they are human. They will make mistakes. They will believe and trust in their scientific “facts”. We as Christians need to believe in the facts about God; who He is, and what He can do. He is our reality, more real than any scientific fact. If you can take that step and put doctors in their proper place, below God; you will officially be a rebel yourself.
Surrender your child to the label, “Child of God”. Surrender your child to His plan for them. Join a fellow rebel and never surrender them to their illness or the knowledge of any man. (Feels good to rebel, doesn’t it?)
Maybe you’re not ready yet, but would love to have the kind of faith that deeply and passionately knows God is good and trustworthy. I invite you to take The Faith Challenge. Let it search your heart, reveal the true God, and build your faith.
So, what do you think? Are you ready to join me? Be a little rebellious, and a lot surrendered. You’ll never regret it!
Love,
Kimberly
To Join “The Faith Challenge” go to”
www.kimberlyehlers.com/the-faith-challenge
To Connect with other parents just like you, join us at:
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ParentsHTH/
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