I don’t always do devotions. I tend to stick to prayer and Bible study, and throw in devotions every once in awhile. On October 1, I decided to open up my Our Daily Bread September, October and November 2009 issue and see what that day had to offer. Before I began, I prayed that God would teach me through His Scripture. I asked Him to write His law upon my heart, to mold me, and change me by the power of His Word. The devotion by Cindy Hess Kasper was wonderful. It was an encouragement to have faith in God to give us the good gifts we need.
It was the last sentence, though, at the very bottom of the page that really caught my eye. It said, “Prayer without expectancy is unbelief in disguise.” Wow! I thought, “This is perfect for my readers!” Then, I began to plan how I could bring this important truth to you. That’s when I heard the whisper, “But what about you, Kimberly?” Oh, yeah, the purpose of the devotion was to change and teach me.
A flood of memories rushed through my mind. Wave after wave of every prayer I had ever prayed in which I doubted God would do “it” (bring healing) but hoped that He might, washed my disguise away. I saw my unbelief clearly. It was there when I was a new mom changing my baby’s bloody diapers once again (Seth’s bleeding was the result of severe food allergies), crying out for God’s help. How many diapers like this did I have to change before He would intervene and guide our doctors to the source of the problem? How many more before it would finally stop? I saw the disbelief in all the years we waited, praying against the planned Fontan Procedure that would take half of our son’s heart. It was in the fearful cry, “Please don’t let this happen!”
I also saw what God has done for my son in spite of my disbelief. He did stop my son’s bleeding. He did protect him from having that procedure done. No, He did more than that. He healed parts of Seth’s heart. He made parts of his heart grow that had been so tiny; doctors said they would not grow because they could not grow.
Like they say, hindsight is 20/20, right? It didn’t feel like disbelief than, it felt like pure desperation. What else could I do that October day but pray for His forgiveness, and thank Him for His goodness that supersedes my failures?
What a good God we serve! Do you know that? Do you believe that? Do you pray for your child expecting God to move mightily? 1 Chronicles 29:11 tells us, “Yours, O LORD, is the greatness and the power and the glory and the victory and the majesty, indeed everything that is in the heavens and the earth; Yours is the dominion, O LORD, and You exalt Yourself as head over all.” That’s who He is for you and your child!
So, if we believe He is all those things – power, greatness, and majesty over all, why do we still doubt? Oh, we have our reasons, don’t we? Your doubts may stem from different circumstances than mine, but they lead us towards the same feelings about God. One of the causes for our uncertainty is the fact that we are the parents of sick children. When we first found out our baby was coming, we expected him or her to be born healthy – to live healthy lives. Sure, we had our worries, but we put our trust in God and chose to believe He would take care of our baby, right? (Believe it or not, but I had hoped that by choosing to be a Special Education teacher, I had “earned” a healthy baby.) Then, the day came when we found out our baby wasn’t well and our trust in God took a hit.
Mark 9:23 tell us, “Jesus said to him, “If you can believe, all things are possible to him who believes.” That’s where we get hung up. This verse is telling us that if we want our child to be healed, we have to believe, to have faith, isn’t it? Not really. The faith that is demanded is the faith that believes God is the one to turn to – He is the only one who can heal our fear, our child, and grow our faith.
The Faith Challenge is a wonderful way to delve into your doubts more completely so that the Lord can set you free to have the faith you need for your journey. While you and our Father work to reveal the deep issues of your heart you will also fill your mind with the truth of who He is. You will loosen those chains of fear and find a new strong faith.
Doesn’t praying expecting great things sound life changing?
Love,
Kimberly
If you’re ready to be disguise free, you can find “The Faith Challenge” here:
www.kimberlyehlers.com/the-faith-challenge
No related posts.
