heart defects

When Your Child’s Illness Leads You to Cry, “This Isn’t Right” by Kimberly Ehlers

by Kimberly on October 24, 2011

On Sunday, we were blessed to hear Terry Mortenson, PhD, MDiv from Answers in Genesis speak on the topic “Creation vs. Evolution: Why it Matters”.  I wanted to share something he said that was a healing salve to my soul ~ and I pray it will be the same for you.

To understand the healing, I think we need to uncover the hurt first.  I want to share these details of my struggle in the hopes that it may help you to see your own feelings more clearly and allow you to receive healing too.

When Seth was first born, he was given a diagnosis that terrified me.  He would have multiple open-heart surgeries leaving him with 1/2 a functioning heart.  My soul cried against it and my mouth argued with the doctors who insisted on giving it!  It didn’t sit well with me because it did not fit with my desires for my son or with who I believed God to be – a good, loving, healing God.  It wasn’t right.

Two realities were clashing inside and around me – the reality of the medical world and my reality of my God and what should happen in His world.  As the years went on and this battle of two worlds continued, I was often very confused.  In fact, it caused me to feel that I had to be doing something wrong.  Maybe I wasn’t accepting God’s will and He was angry.  Maybe I wasn’t praying/believing/thinking right.  That began a journey on “The Road to Self-Destruction”.  (Those of you who were part of my teleseminar “The Messy Motives of a Worried Mom” will recognize that phrase.  Those you who weren’t there will be able to read more about it in the e-book of the same name that I’m currently writing.)  I’d use the Bible to beat myself up.  After all, if I was a good Christian and really had faith, wouldn’t I be OK, peaceful even, with whatever might happen?

This is what Dr. Mortenson shared yesterday.  He asked, if we are animals and death is natural, why do we cry when our four month old dies?  Why do we cry when someone when love dies?  This is a rough quote, but what he said next both healed my old hurt and brought peace.  He said, “We should cry because it isn’t right.  Our soul knows it.”

According to Genesis, God created His world to be good.  Sickness and death are not good, but they entered our world with the original sin.  God never intended for children (or anyone) to get sick and die.  That sin opened the flood gates of Hell and separated us from God.  Thank God, that through Christ, we can be fully reconciled to Him, and the enemy has no real power over us or our eternal souls.  The fact remains, though, that sin and the enemy run rampet over the earth and we still suffer their consequences.  The Holy Spirit in us cries to the Father, in pain, “This isn’t right!  This isn’t what we wanted the world to be like!”

“This isn’t right! This isn’t what we wanted the world to be like!”

So, now I have peace.  My spirit fought against Seth’s diagnosis because it isn’t right for a child of God.  I’m so grateful for a Father who will walk us each down the road of our unique journeys.  To some, He will give peace to accept a diagnosis; others will be stirred up against it.  Praise God that He doesn’t leave us to suffer the consequences of sin on our own. 

So too the [Holy] Spirit comes to our aid and bears us up in our weakness; for we do not know what prayer to offer nor how to offer it worthily as we ought, but the Spirit Himself goes to meet our supplication and pleads in our behalf with unspeakable yearnings and groanings too deep for utterance.

And He Who searches the hearts of men knows what is in the mind of the [Holy] Spirit [what His intent is], because the Spirit intercedes and pleads [before God] in behalf of the saints according to and in harmony with God’s will.

We are assured and know that [God being a partner in their labor] all things work together and are [fitting into a plan] for good to and for those who love God and are called according to [His] design and purpose,

Romans 8:26-28
Amplified Bible (AMP)

Thank God for the Holy Spirit who also guides us to Him.  Not only that, the Spirit urges us to pray and even prays for us.  He is certainly our Helper (John 14:16).  May the truth that the Helper is with you always and that God is working for your good give you hope, Dear One.  I pray you will also find peace knowing that the illness your child suffers does not please the LORD, it is not right to Him either, and He will not let you face it alone.

In His Love,

Kimberly

{ 2 comments }

But God by Kimberly Ehlers

by Kimberly on September 22, 2011

 

I’m blessed to be taking an excellent class given by, my sweet friend, Beth Jones of www.bethjones.net.  During our first class she encouraged us to do a Bible study of all the verses that contain the words “but God”.

I have to tell you that I’ve only read 7 of these verses so far, and all of them are in Genesis.  But, oh, has it been powerful reading! (I did my search at www.biblegateway.com.)

As I read my “but God” verses, I had two things jump out at me – the impure plans of mankind and how they contrasted against God’s good plans.  Praise God that He still wants our very best and we can take these promises from His Holy Word and hold tightly to them during our child’s illness.

While I certainly encourage you to do your own study on “but God” verses, I wanted to share a few that reveal something you need to know – God truly is love.  That love is demonstrated through His plans for us.  If you’re a regular reader of mine, you have probably heard me share Jeremiah 29:11 many times, so today I’ll share a different version, “‘For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the LORD, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future,’” (NIV).  There’s also a beautiful “but God” verse that expresses the same idea a little differently,“But as for you, you meant evil against me; but God meant it for good, in order to bring it about as it is this day, to save many people alive,” (Genesis 50:20, NKJV).

We tend to view the Old Testament as the book of law and the New Testament as the book of God’s grace and love.  It can be hard to see His love through all the bloodshed found in the Old Testament – but it’s there and these “but God” verses help us to see it.  Not only do these verses show God’s love, but they give us guidance on how to weather the storm of multiple decisions we have to make for our child’s care.  No, God doesn’t give us “one size fits all” answers to our problems.  He didn’t make us, or the plans for our lives, with a cookie cutter.  These verses do show us the one thing we all have to do…

Remember the story of Sarah, Abraham’s wife, and Hagar?  (If not, you can find it in the book of Genesis.)  Sarah demanded that Hagar and her son be cast out.  Abraham hated the idea.  “But God said to Abraham, ‘Do not let it be displeasing in your sight because of the lad or because of your bondwoman. Whatever Sarah has said to you, listen to her voice; for in Isaac your seed shall be called.  Yet I will also make a nation of the son of the bondwoman, because he is your seed,’” (Genesis 21:12-13, NKJV).  Sarah’s plan was to lash out and hurt.  God’s plan was to bring peace and prosperity.

Sometimes, like Abraham, we are called to go along with man’s plan, trusting that God will make what we perceive as wicked, glorious.  To make the good that only God can see (for now, anyway) happen, we have to listen and do that hard thing we don’t want to do.  I couldn’t imagine any good coming from my son suffering through another open-heart surgery, but we listened, went along with the doctor’s plan, and now our son is fully healed.

But, there are certain times when God does not want us to follow a man’s plan, or our own.  In Genesis 31, we read about Jacob taking his wives and fleeing their father, Laban.  Laban pursued them, intending to punish Jacob. “Then he took his brethren with him and pursued him for seven days’ journey, and he overtook him in the mountains of Gilead.  But God had come to Laban the Syrian in a dream by night, and said to him, ‘Be careful that you speak to Jacob neither good nor bad,’” (Genesis 31:23-24, NKJV).  Laban’s plan was to harm.  God’s plan was to protect.  Laban listened to God and obeyed.

We are called to go through such hard things as we walk the journey of our child’s illness.  We didn’t ask for their sickness.  We don’t want to see them suffer.  We don’t want to risk their lives through a surgery or anything else.  We just want our child to be OK.  Listen to Jacob’s dying words.  “Then Israel said to Joseph, ‘Behold, I am dying, but God will be with you and bring you back to the land of your fathers,’” (Genesis 48:21, NKJV).  Israel knew he had to go.  We know our child’s health will take us through dark days, but God’s plan is the same for us as it was for Joseph.  He will stay with us (even when others abandon us) through it all.  He will also protect us and provide a way out of the darkness.

Did you notice all the words I underlined that describe God’s plan for good?  This is the “good” He has planned for you.  He wants peace and prosperity for you; to protect and provide your needs.  He wants to stay by your side.  Do you feel His great love for you?

But how do you know when you are to follow man’s (the doctor’s) plans or not?  Did you catch the thing that our verses had in common?  The people listened and did according to God’s plan.  Listening to God can be so hard in this noisy world.  We will not hear Him unless we take the time to be quiet before Him.  Our concerns can consume us, making it easy for our prayers to be cluttered with our own words and thoughts.  When we need God the most, we need to be the most quiet.  Of course, give Him your concerns, but allow time to sit silently at His feet.  His plan may come to you there in the quiet, but it may come right at the moment you need it most.  You may experience God’s gentle peace that tells you, “It will be OK.  Follow the doctor’s plan – I’ll be here every step of the way, and I have something very good planned.”  It may also be the feeling that everything in you is saying, “No!  Don’t do this!”  God can make His “yes” and His “no” very clear if we prepare our hearts to listen. 

We’ve all experienced things not going according to plan.  Can you look back now and see God’s plan instead?  With our children’s illnesses, we are blessed to see the good results of God changing our plans, though, sometimes we don’t always see those results right away.  What has your “but God” experience been?  What good came from it?

In His Love,
Kimberly

 

{ 4 comments }

Reaching for Faith by Kimberly Ehlers

by Kimberly on June 20, 2011

You may have heard me say before that I originally wrote “The Faith Challenge” for my family.  We were facing Seth’s open-heart surgery, and I wanted to get back to the days after Seth’s birth, when my faith was its absolute strongest.  I wanted my family, especially Seth since he was the one having the major surgery, to have that kind of faith too.  I can’t get away from the fact that when I look back on the roller coaster ride my faith has been on, the peaks have always come when I lived on and believed God’s Word.  The times when faith really carried me came from reading Scripture, thinking about it, and applying it to my life.  Makes sense, doesn’t it?  But it’s not so easy to do.  Oh, we can read His Word, but we often resort back to doing what our feelings urge us to do in times of trouble.
In the early morning hours before one of Seth’s appointments years ago, I read 2 Kings 6:16-17, “So he answered, ‘Do not fear, for those who are with us are more than those who are with them.’  And Elisha prayed, and said, ‘LORD, I pray, open his eyes that he may see.’ Then the LORD opened the eyes of the young man, and he saw. And behold, the mountain was full of horses and chariots of fire all around Elisha,” (New King James Version).  How timely God is.  While I am very thankful for the care Seth has always received, the hospital we go to is state funded and works very had to keep God out.  I have to say that Seth’s current doctor is a blessing, and we wish we had always had him, but for many years, we struggled with our doctors.  When your child is so seriously ill, you would love for your doctor to be a Christian.  It would have been a relief, and we would have felt more like a team with the doctor.  Instead, we always felt that we had to be guarded and prayed for lots of protection because doctors seemed to look at Seth as an experiment.  His case was rare, and we worried that the things they wanted to try were more for the sake of science than for Seth’s best.  His appointments felt like us vs. them.  So, after reading these verses, I walked into the hospital praying for eyes to see those with us.  While I didn’t see the Heavenly warriors, I knew we were surrounded.  Anxiety was replaced by peace.
On my Facebook page, we have something called “Faith Fridays”.  I share a healing verse along with a couple of thoughts.  Last Friday’s verse is one of my favorites, and on that day, it really caused me to think, so I’d like to share our latest Faith Friday post with all of you.  This is what I wrote, “These verses make me cry.  The woman’s years trying one thing after another, hoping each time that this will finally be the thing that cures her – that’s easy to relate to, isn’t it?  Her miraculous belief even after all her struggles that just a touch of Jesus would heal her… And sweet, compassionate Jesus’ response.  It wasn’t enough for Him to heal someone; He had to know the person too.  He had to look her in the eyes and bless her with not just healing, but love.  Are you weary of trying this and that?  Are you desperate to touch Him?  Dear One, He’s longing for you too…

     This verse comes from Mark 5:25-34, New King James Version:

     ‘Now a certain woman had a flow of blood for twelve years, and had suffered many things from many physicians. She had spent all that she had and was no better, but rather grew worse. When she heard about Jesus, she came behind Him in the crowd and touched His garment. For she said, “If only I may touch His clothes, I shall be made well.”  

     Immediately the fountain of her blood was dried up, and she felt in her body that she was healed of the affliction.  And Jesus, immediately knowing in Himself that power had gone out of Him, turned around in the crowd and said, “Who touched My clothes?”  
     But His disciples said to Him, “You see the multitude thronging You, and You say, ‘Who touched Me?’”  
     And He looked around to see her who had done this thing.  But the woman, fearing and trembling, knowing what had happened to her, came and fell down before Him and told Him the whole truth.  And He said to her, “Daughter, your faith has made you well. Go in peace, and be healed of your affliction.”’ 

     I’ve experienced the help of faith, this woman clearly did, what about you?  How has your faith helped you?  Is there a particular time that your faith got you through?  Has it helped you to endure?  Please share your story of faith below.
Also, if you would like to continue growing your faith, click this link and sign up to get your FREE copy of my report “Does Faith Matter?”  Find out just how much it DOES matter and how to remove the junk keeping you from great faith.

In His Love,
Kimberly
P.S.  Why not join us on Facebook?  We’d love to have you there!

{ 0 comments }

What’s So Bad About a Lack of Faith? An audio by Kimberly Ehlers

by Kimberly on June 16, 2011

Yep, it’s another audio!  As I explain in the audio, I have a message that I believe is incredibly important and the best way to share it is to say it!

Here’s a hint – Doubts in God’s trustworthiness and goodness are common to someone whose child has a serious illness.  But do you know just how dangerous those doubts can become?  They’re no joke and they’re nothing to tolerate.

Join me in discussing the serious pitfalls of a lack of faith, how you can aviod them, and, best of all, open yourself up to receive all the blessings God wants to heap upon you!

(The blessings alone are worth 30 minutes of your time, don’t ya think?  Plus you’ll help ease my guilty conscious for not sharing this sooner! :) )

Grab your free report! (You’ll understand this after listening to the audio!)

Audio clip: Adobe Flash Player (version 9 or above) is required to play this audio clip. Download the latest version here. You also need to have JavaScript enabled in your browser.

 click arrow to listen

Lack of Faith - right click to download

In His Love,

Kimberly

 

{ 0 comments }

A Peak at WHY – Kimberly’s Blog

by Kimberly on February 22, 2011

Hi, everyone!

     I have to confess, I’m using you today.  This weekend God let my husband and I see something that has left me overwhelmed, in awe, and still processing what it means.  So, I’m using you to help me process, but I do pray that our experience will be an encouragement to you :) .

     I don’t know how many times during Seth’s trial of heart defects I asked questions like:  Why is this happening?  Why isn’t it going the way I want it to?  Why is God allowing this?  Why isn’t He answering my prayers?

     Do those questions sound familiar to you?

     Most of the time, we don’t get a firm answer to those questions, and we’re forced to trust that God knows the bigger picture and that He is working for our good.

     Sometimes, we get to do get the answer.  That’s exactly what we got this weekend.

     Let me back up about 13 year.  When Seth was born, after his first open-heart surgery, doctors planned to do the Fontan procedure.  It had only been done at our hospital once before.  I hadn’t been done much at all or for very long anywhere, and they had very little information for us – like how long his life expectancy would be and what his life would be like.

     Last Saturday, I was reading some posts from a group that I really like on Facebook.  (I’d love to connect with you there http://on.fb.me/KimberlyEhlers .)   A mother shared that her daughter will be having the Fontan soon and asked for other’s experiences.  This was my opportunity to see what could have been if God hadn’t intervened and healed 2 of Seth’s major defects.  I read of the complications, including a heart transplant.  I wondered how much worse it could have been for Seth being one of the first to have gone through this surgery.

     We’ve always been thankful, knowing that having half a heart would not be a good thing (the Fontan “rewires” your heart so half of it isn’t used anymore).  Now, we know more clearly what God saved us from and we are all that much more grateful.  Yes, did have another open-heart surgery, but it brought healing and health – not more to worry about.

     My thankfulness became quickly mixed with repentance for all the times, over all those years of waiting, that I doubted Him.  I see now just how small my mind is compared to His.  I guess that’s why Paul tells us, “For now we see in a mirror, dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part, but then I shall know just as I also am known,” (1 Corinthians 13:12, New King James Version).   

     Sometimes God gives us the opportunity to see a little more clearly here on earth.

In His Love,

Kimberly

kimberly@kimberlyehlers.com

{ 0 comments }

An Excerpt of My Family’s Story by Kimberly Ehlers

February 14, 2011

Hi, My Friends!      Last week my sweet friend, Beth Jones, shared a couple of excellent articles with us – if you missed them, you can read them here: http://bit.ly/i9jCLV and http://bit.ly/eyjF4X .      In keeping with the theme of these articles, Beth is writing an incredibly powerful book called, “The Hands Of A Woman: [...]

Read the full article →

Is Your Church Right for You Part 2 by Kimberly Ehlers

February 11, 2011

OK, ready for the messy stuff?  If you missed yesterday’s article about what a church should be, I suggest you go back to that first at http://bit.ly/i7GoFA.  Please remember that we are not talking about a hurtful situation with an individual.  We’re talking about the health of a church or its unhealthy environment. There are [...]

Read the full article →

← Previous Entries