peace

How to Survive Your Child’s Illness by Kimberly Ehlers

by Kimberly on March 7, 2012

My hearts desire, the purpose of this site, is to help you stay close to God throughout your child’s illness because He is the “secret” to your survival.  By survival I mean facing each and every day knowing that, come what may, God is with you, in control, and working for your child’s (and your) good.  In that knowledge you can experience peace, faith, and even joy instead of fear, doubt, and stress.  Surviving also means knowing that when you fall short of being the mom or daughter of God you want to be, you can start over again.

Every post, every edition of The Heart Connection, and every product in my e-store has been created to serve that goal.  I’ve realized, though, that all that I’ve made is very spread out, and I wonder how a hurting mom coming to my site would find what she needs to survive.  How can I give her (how can I give you), what she needs when she needs it the most?

Your mental/emotional survival is dependent on your faith. Your faith is a gift from God that grows when our mind sets and emotions are healthy and inline with our Father.

That’s why I made “A Guide to Parenting a Child with a Serious Illness”.  It’s the jumping off point from which you can strengthen 4 key areas necessary for you to not only survive your child’s illness but to see you faith thrive in a time you need it the most.  Your mental/emotional survival is dependent on your faith.  Your faith is a gift from God that grows when our mind sets and emotions are healthy and inline with our Father.  We are holistic beings.  Every aspect of our lives is connected and effects one another.  Working on these 4 keys will bring you much needed healing and put you in the safest place on earth – held by His strong arm next to His heart:

 Key #1  – Everyday Life and Taking Care of YOU!

 Key #2  – Create Your Firm Foundation.  It’s All in Who and What You Know!

 Key #3  – Getting Ready for Those Dreaded Doctor Appointments or (Even Worse) Hospital Stays

 Key #4 – Building Up Your Support System and Watching for Warnings

There are, altogether, over 20 resources listed under these keys.  I encourage you to start with Key #1 and work at your own pace through each article, audio, or download.  It will take time to work through each Key and that’s good!  You don’t want to rush the work God wants to do in your heart.  Oh, did I mention that this guide is completely free?  All I ask is that you share it with others if you feel it would bless and help them.

Are you ready to go beyond surviving?  Here’s your link to your guide Go to Guide

In His Love, Kimberly

Picture of keys found at http://www.freedigitalphotos.net/images/view_photog.php?photogid=151

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Why Not Let Him? by Kimberly Ehlers

by Kimberly on December 11, 2011

     My family and I are reading “Tabitha’s Travels – A Family Story for Advent” by Arnold Ytreeide.  We have enjoyed all 3 of Mr. Ytreeide’s Advent stories for families and are disappointed to have reached the last in his series.

At the end of each little chapter, Mr. Ytreeide adds his own thoughts along with Scripture.  One particular reading ended with such a powerful question, I wanted to share it with you.  From p. 52 of his book, he writes, “We don’t really know what lies around the next corner or within the next year, but there is one thing we can know:  Jesus will be right there with us, protecting us, guiding us, or simply helping us endure, no matter what.

Surely God is my salvation; I will trust and not be afraid.  The LORD, the LORD, is my strength and my song; he has become my salvation.

Isaiah 12:2

     Give your fears to God – fears about the future, fears about other people, fears about yourself.  He’d love to take your fears and give you peace and joy in return.  Why not let Him?”

     Why not let Him?  What is keeping you from being able to hand over your fears to God?   There are so many reasons, aren’t there?  We have such a desire to protect our children and control their circumstances.  We want to help our child.  The problem is that when we put more responsibility on our own shoulders our fears mount.  We know that we really are not in control of our child’s disease or defects.  We can do everything possible and it may not be enough.   Deep down we know (and hate) that we really can not make everything better for our child, but we don’t give up trying.  We fight a winless battle to control the doctors, the tests, the results, the medicines, and the illness.  We can’t give up, can we?  Of course not.  We keep striving and our fear keeps growing.

     There’s also the question:  Can I trust God with my child?  If I let go of control, if I allow Him to be the protector and helper, will He do it?  In our minds, we may know that He loves us and is good, yet our heart wants to gather our child in, trusting no one else with their safety.   Our fear for our child’s future keeps us from trusting Him.

    The fact is, there’s so much to worry about with our kids, it’s easy to be fearful.  Is it really possible to give your fears to God and experience peace, even joy, during your child’s illness?  In the words of Jesus himself, “But Jesus looked at them and said to them, ‘With men this is impossible, but with God all things are possible,’” (Matt. 19:16, NKJV).  We can’t defeat our fears by ourselves.  We begin by asking God to take our fears and fill us with His joy and peace instead.  With His help, we train ourselves to recognize our fears.  They may be obvious or cloaked in the need to control or any desire that reveals a lack of trust in Him. We can hand those fears over to God every time they pop up.  This is truly entering into relationship with our Father.  Through this relationship, He really can take your fears.  Why not let Him this Christmas?

In His Love,

Kimberly

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When Your Child’s Illness Leads You to Cry, “This Isn’t Right” by Kimberly Ehlers

by Kimberly on October 24, 2011

On Sunday, we were blessed to hear Terry Mortenson, PhD, MDiv from Answers in Genesis speak on the topic “Creation vs. Evolution: Why it Matters”.  I wanted to share something he said that was a healing salve to my soul ~ and I pray it will be the same for you.

To understand the healing, I think we need to uncover the hurt first.  I want to share these details of my struggle in the hopes that it may help you to see your own feelings more clearly and allow you to receive healing too.

When Seth was first born, he was given a diagnosis that terrified me.  He would have multiple open-heart surgeries leaving him with 1/2 a functioning heart.  My soul cried against it and my mouth argued with the doctors who insisted on giving it!  It didn’t sit well with me because it did not fit with my desires for my son or with who I believed God to be – a good, loving, healing God.  It wasn’t right.

Two realities were clashing inside and around me – the reality of the medical world and my reality of my God and what should happen in His world.  As the years went on and this battle of two worlds continued, I was often very confused.  In fact, it caused me to feel that I had to be doing something wrong.  Maybe I wasn’t accepting God’s will and He was angry.  Maybe I wasn’t praying/believing/thinking right.  That began a journey on “The Road to Self-Destruction”.  (Those of you who were part of my teleseminar “The Messy Motives of a Worried Mom” will recognize that phrase.  Those you who weren’t there will be able to read more about it in the e-book of the same name that I’m currently writing.)  I’d use the Bible to beat myself up.  After all, if I was a good Christian and really had faith, wouldn’t I be OK, peaceful even, with whatever might happen?

This is what Dr. Mortenson shared yesterday.  He asked, if we are animals and death is natural, why do we cry when our four month old dies?  Why do we cry when someone when love dies?  This is a rough quote, but what he said next both healed my old hurt and brought peace.  He said, “We should cry because it isn’t right.  Our soul knows it.”

According to Genesis, God created His world to be good.  Sickness and death are not good, but they entered our world with the original sin.  God never intended for children (or anyone) to get sick and die.  That sin opened the flood gates of Hell and separated us from God.  Thank God, that through Christ, we can be fully reconciled to Him, and the enemy has no real power over us or our eternal souls.  The fact remains, though, that sin and the enemy run rampet over the earth and we still suffer their consequences.  The Holy Spirit in us cries to the Father, in pain, “This isn’t right!  This isn’t what we wanted the world to be like!”

“This isn’t right! This isn’t what we wanted the world to be like!”

So, now I have peace.  My spirit fought against Seth’s diagnosis because it isn’t right for a child of God.  I’m so grateful for a Father who will walk us each down the road of our unique journeys.  To some, He will give peace to accept a diagnosis; others will be stirred up against it.  Praise God that He doesn’t leave us to suffer the consequences of sin on our own. 

So too the [Holy] Spirit comes to our aid and bears us up in our weakness; for we do not know what prayer to offer nor how to offer it worthily as we ought, but the Spirit Himself goes to meet our supplication and pleads in our behalf with unspeakable yearnings and groanings too deep for utterance.

And He Who searches the hearts of men knows what is in the mind of the [Holy] Spirit [what His intent is], because the Spirit intercedes and pleads [before God] in behalf of the saints according to and in harmony with God’s will.

We are assured and know that [God being a partner in their labor] all things work together and are [fitting into a plan] for good to and for those who love God and are called according to [His] design and purpose,

Romans 8:26-28
Amplified Bible (AMP)

Thank God for the Holy Spirit who also guides us to Him.  Not only that, the Spirit urges us to pray and even prays for us.  He is certainly our Helper (John 14:16).  May the truth that the Helper is with you always and that God is working for your good give you hope, Dear One.  I pray you will also find peace knowing that the illness your child suffers does not please the LORD, it is not right to Him either, and He will not let you face it alone.

In His Love,

Kimberly

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Remembering – My Journal Before Seth’s Surgery Pt.3 by Kimberly Ehlers

by Kimberly on July 21, 2011

This is the last journal entry I’ll be sharing and it’s from 2 days before Seth’s surgery.

Deuteronomy 4:4  But you who held fast to the Lord your God are alive today, everyone of you.

4:7 Only take heed to yourself, and diligently keep yourself, lest you forget the things your eyes have seen and lest they depart from your heart all the days of your life.  And teach them to your children and to your grandchildren.

It’s hard now, with the surgery date 2 days away, but I will hold fast to the Lord.  I have to remember all that He’s done for us, not let my family forget and pass it on.  I have to tell what He’s done!

What’s funny to me is the last line, “I have to tell what He’s done!”  God had already done so much to heal Seth, but I had no idea what He had in store for us through the surgery.

The thing that was hard for me was still praying and hoping God would close the holes in Seth’s heart Himself and we could avoid surgery altogether.  Those holes seemed so small compared to the defects He had healed! 

I would never tell people, “Seth’s surgery will be July 22.”  Saying that felt like I was closing the door to the possibility of God healing Seth.  I’d say instead, “His surgery is scheduled for July 22.”  Praying for healing, but preparing physically for surgery (getting packed and the pre-operation doctor visits) just didn’t go together.  It was especially hard when Seth asked me if I’d given up hope.  I worried what this was doing to his faith.  I had to trust God with all of Seth – his physical and spiritual beings both.   If you listened to Seth’s interview, I think you can see the health of his faith.  Did you miss it?  Go to http://kimberlyehlers.com/?p=2150 , it’s a short 25 minute interview that will bless you beyond measure!

In His Love,

Kimberly

 

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P.S.   Are you having trouble holding fast to the LORD?  Are you feeling separated from Him or are you carrying guilt that keeps you away from Him?  Please join me for The Messy Motives of a Worried Mom teleseminar.  You are not alone and you do not have to stary separated from the Father who loves you.  Go to http://kimberlyehlers.com/?p=2170 and register today!

P.S.S   Stay tuned for information on the BIG sale coming this Friday, July 22!  It’s a day we love to celebrate, and we want to celebrate with you!

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