OK, we’ve looked at why sleep is important and what can interfere, let’s move on to the “how” – otherwise, know as the good (and sometimes challenging) stuff.
A lot of little steps go into getting a good night’s sleep. First of all, it begins with accepting the fact that sleep is a priority and then living that way. So, repeat after me, my friend: Sleep Matters!
To live that way it means letting go of the desire to be Super Mom – able to do it all. It may not even be that we want to be “super”, we just want to take care of all the things that have to be done. That sounds very practical and responsible. Those 3 loads of laundry that need to be done can also drive us crazy. We can get caught up in a vicious cycle that doesn’t allow us to rest until everything is done. The problem with that is this – there will always be something more to do. We have to make the effort to step out of the cycle and be real. If we don’t meet our bodies needs for rest, we will crash, leaving us unable to do much of anything – let alone laundry. This is where even the most practical Mom can believe she is super. We don’t want to believe we will crash. Please, if you’re still feeling that way, go back to Part 1 of this series.
Living as though sleep matters means that we listen to our bodies. If you’ve been pressing through tiredness to “get everything done”, you may not even recognize the signals your body gives you to let you know it’s worn out. Learn to identify those signs again. Do you get headaches? Grumpy? It becomes hard for me to look at a computer screen when I’m tired. I even get a twitch in my eye! When we begin receiving those signals (and even better, if we can recognize our need before all the bad stuff starts happening), we make a plan to nap when we can. No, we may not be able to stop right then and nap (but maybe you really can!) but we make time as soon as is reasonable. If your child is napping, resist that urge to clean! Lie down and nap too. If your child doesn’t nap, ask a friend or family member to watch him while you sleep. Can’t imagine doing that? I couldn’t either until someone did it for me. After Seth’s last open-heart surgery, a sweet friend happily brought Vacation Bible School activities to do with Seth while I rested. (His surgery was the same week of our VBS so he had been unable to attend.) What a blessing! BUT, I wasn’t the only one blessed. It was also a gift to her to be able to do something so helpful for me while having fun with Seth.
You also may be thinking, “No way. My child has too many needs. I could never let someone else be responsible for them.” I understand your concern. On one hand, you are particular about your child’s care. On the other, you don’t want to burden anyone else. It’s true, there are certain things that only you can do. The problem is that we mom’s can easily think we’re the only ones who can do anything! (I’m not the only one like that am I?) We need to step back and be honest. What parts of your child’s care really can be done by someone else? By allowing someone else to come in and help, you are giving them (and your child) a special gift, just as it did my friend and son. You are allowing them to bond and be blessed by just how special your child is. Let them find their own way to hold, feed or play with your child. Let them work out their own relationship with your little one.
Now, I’ve opened the door to a tough topic – delegation. It’s much easier to rest when you can delegate your child’s care with confidence. But, there are many more things that need to be delegated too. Listen to Jethro’s advice to his son-in-law, when he saw that Moses was being spread too thin.
“So Moses’ father-in-law said to him, ‘The thing that you do is not good. Both you and these people who are with you will surely wear yourselves out. For this thing is too much for you; you are not able to perform it by yourself,’” (Exodus 18: 17-18, New King James Version).
Jethro then advised Moses on how to delegate, and he says,
“If you do this thing, and God so commands you, then you will be able to endure, and all this people will also go to their place in peace,” (Exodus 18: 23, New King James Version).
Just as Moses thought he had to run everything, it’s easy for us to feel the same way. If we think that way, we will not “be able to endure” either. Let’s follow Moses’ example and learn to delegate. Make 3 lists. On the 1st list, write down what it is that only you can do. Cover everything that needs to be done in an average day or week. Next, list what you need help with right now. What jobs are not getting done, are hard for you, or cause you a lot of stress when you think about them? Third, note the things other family members can do and who can be responsible for that job. For example, you may write: sweep the floors – Sally. If your child who has an illness is able, include them in the job sharing. It’s an important part of being a family member, and they will feel valued. Post that list on the refrigerator.
Next, talk with your husband about the things you need help with. Brainstorm with him ways to take care of those issues. Then, relax! Know that things will probably not be done the way you like and be OK with that! Receive the blessing of being helped. You fill find it easier to rest when the jobs that tug at you to keep going and to keep working, are done or will be done by someone else!
Now, for some very practical issues. (That’s my way of saying that this is a little embarrassing to talk about.) At our house, son and Mom both need to stop drinking liquids at least an hour and a half before bedtime. Otherwise, we both get up too frequently to use the restroom. Getting up often certainly ruins a good night’s sleep. That means that we need to take any bedtime vitamins with supper or shortly after. While neither of us takes medication, we do take supplements, and Seth takes one in particular that is more effect when taken close to bedtime. I shared with my doctor the problems with the frequent nighttime urination that it seemed to cause, and she agreed that the pill should be taken earlier. It’s helped so much! If you have the same problem, I encourage you to talk with your doctor and ask if you could take your medication earlier. Even a half hour earlier could be a huge help and allow you to sleep more peacefully.
Ready for something much more pleasant? How about a wonderful treat that you’ll not only love but will whisk you off to a beautiful night’s sleep? Enjoy a bedtime routine, and make it special. Create a routine that you look forward to all day.
I’d like to share both Seth’s bedtime routine and mine to give you some ideas that you and your child might enjoy. I’m sharing both, because my son’s routine is part of mine. We don’t do the full routine every night. A couple of nights a week we use a shorter version.
It all begins with Seth’s bath. I add a few drops of a blend of essential oils designed to be relaxing (lavender alone is wonderful for this too). The smell is Heavenly and peaceful. While Seth enjoys his bath, I heat up some water until it’s steaming well, pour it into a bowl, add 1 or 2 drops of the same essential oil, and place it in his room. I close his door so that the scent will fill his room by the time he’s ready to climb into bed. Out of the tub, he then uses unscented lotion that has a few drops of the same blend added to the bottle and mixed well. You can certainly use pre-made bath oils (or bubble baths) and lotions, but because of my allergies to chemicals used in these products, I stick to essential oils. Sometimes, I will treat Seth to a little massage and it works like magic. After 15 minutes he can barely keep his eyes open. At the same time, the gentle scent and the quiet are working to calm my mind and soul. If there’s no massage, we will cuddle up in Mom and Dad’s big bed and listen to a story. We try to start our routine and end it at the same time every night, but it’s not always possible.
When we are done and he is in bed, I am completely enjoying the peace and relaxation that’s overcoming me. (Just so you know, my husband goes to work very early, so he may join us in bed for the story and fall asleep as I read.) I confess that I am not always good at continuing with my own bed time routine right away. Sometimes other things do need to be done or I have a show I enjoy. But, eventually, at a reasonable time, I enjoy my own relaxing bath and lotion. Lighting candles is always nice. One thing I love to do is to light some candles in the living room, turn off the lights, and follow a stretching routine before my bath. Stretching helps your minds and body to relax, making it ready to soak in the peacefulness of your special bath.
What is it you would enjoy doing as part of your bedtime routine? What helps you to relax? Many of us Moms love to read, and only get to after the kids are in bed. Nothing can rob you of sleep more than an exciting mystery or any other kind of page turner. Having spent way too many late nights reading, I’ve slowly and sadly learned that books before bed have to be low keyed and easy to put down!
What about you? Do you have something unique that helps you ready yourself for bed? What’s your key to a good night’s sleep? Please share below!
In His Love,
Kimberly
