As Christian families who have children with health challenges, in the middle of our fear for their futures one thing that gives us peace is our child’s relationship with God. When so much seems to go against them, they’ve been given an incredible gift that healthy kids usually don’t get so young; our kids have learned early on that they need God. They receive the gift of faith and salvation at a young age. So, when a crisis comes (which, more than likely involves pain and/or severe sickness) and our child lashes out in anger at God, we panic. Is our child about to throw away the one good thing that’s come from their illness? Are they going to reject God? What in the world do we do to help them in their struggle?
In part 1of this 2 part series, I’d like to talk about what you can do in that crisis situation. You’ll also notice an audio for you to listen to. I decided that there was no one better to teach about this subject than my son, Seth. I set up a little interview with him, and he did an amazing job of sharing his heart. You will be blessed by what he has to tell you.
Tomorrow, we’ll step back and look at some ways to lay the ground work so that your child’s faith can withstand storms. This ground work is also an excellent way to walk with them down the path of a strong relationship with God once they’ve gotten over their initial anger.
You may find it hard to believe, but it’s actually very easy to deal with your child’s anger. It’s easy for you because you need to step out of the way and let God deal with it. This is actually a very precious sacred time. God is about to strengthen your child’s faith if you let Him. There are things that you should do and things you shouldn’t, but, thankfully, those lists are very short.
Do:
• Allow them to feel what they feel. It’s completely normal for them to be angry when they’re in pain. It’s normal for them to feel great frustration over their on-going illness. Everyone experiences those feelings. Need proof? Read through the book of Psalms. David was often angry and upset with God. Read about Job and how he responded to extreme suffering. Notice that God never left them in their misery.
• Listen. Just listen to their thoughts and feelings.
• Pray. Turn your child’s words into prayers. After they’ve told you how they feel, ask if you could pray with them. Pray about the feelings they’ve just shared. If your child says that they don’t think God cares about them, pray out loud, “God, Sally doesn’t think you care. Please show her just how much you love her and that you really do care for her”. Pray with your child and on your own. Pray them through their feelings. Encourage them to tell God how they feel.
Don’t:
• Try to change their feelings. Be extra careful not to beat them with Bible verses. Your intention may be to encourage them. More than likely you’ll belittle their legitimate feelings and possibly make them even angrier with God. They need God’s love right now, not law. By trying to change their feelings with Scripture you’re telling them that they aren’t acceptable to you or God. That will only serve to separate them farther from Him. Take another look at Job. In Job 42:7-8, how did God respond to Job’s friends and their constant attempts to “shine light” on Job’s sins? I’ll give you a hint: He wasn’t happy!
• Let it be OK to be mean. You have the opportunity to teach your child how to work through anger the right way. Teach your child that they can’t use mean words or hurt people out of anger. I had to do this with my son a couple of days after his surgery. An amazing thing happened when he was no longer allowed to lash out at, mainly, me. He started to improve! Lashing out had only fed his anger which fed his physical misery.
Now, let’s have Seth tell his side of the story…
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audio: Seth shares his experience, click arrow to listen
Tomorrow, will be some more very practical “how to’s” focusing on helping your child develop the relationship they need with God. Not only will they know God more profoundly, but that relationship will allow them to be angry at God and stay by His side.
In His Love,
Kimberly
e-mail me at: kimberly@kimberlyehlers.com
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Homeschooling your child with health issues or thinking about it? You won’t want to miss my new audio set and planning guide, “Creating a Homeschool That Blesses Your Family – Even During Your Child’s Illness”! It’s coming SOON! (As in by the BIG sale July 15!) Want to receive an e-mail when it’s available and be one of the first to get it? Just send me an e-mail at kimberly@kimberlyehlers.com or kimberlyehlers@gmail.com, subject line – keep me posted!
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