After you’ve dealt with your child’s initial anger (see Part 1) and only when you sense your child’s heart softening can you begin guiding them in rebuilding their relationship with God. If your child has never experienced anger with God, this is invaluable ground work for the unavoidable. In dealing with their illness, your child will at some point either grow tired of their problems or suffer severe pain, both of which cause legitimate anger.
Let’s look at the “Ground Work/Relationship Building” steps:
*Family Devotions – Older kids may like to do devotions on their own, just like you do, but I encourage you to also do family devotions at least once a week. It helps open the door to communication and keep it open. With God’s help, this is your family’s opportunity to share your hearts. Not only will you become closer, but you are guiding them as they learn Biblical truths and how the apply them to their lives. Knowing God’s truth will help them face their trials. We can’t ever forget just how powerful the Lord’s word is. You can be guaranteed that He will be preparing your child well for life.
*Pray With Them – Pray from the heart. Let them hear your concerns and how you give them to God. You have times that you’re upset with God. Hearing you say, “God, I’m angry. I don’t like this,” teaches your child how to work through those emotions with God.
I struggled with sharing with Seth that I was praying for healing after we found out he’d need another surgery. I was afraid of getting his hopes up and having him be disappointed with God. I was also afraid of dishonoring God by ignoring the healing part of His character. He is Jehovah Rapha, the Lord who Heals. I decided to trust God with Seth’s whole being. I’d trust Him to heal Seth’s physical heart, and I’d trust Him to heal Seth’s emotional heart if He needed to. Our family prayed for complete healing, and God walked us through the hurt of our unanswered prayer.
*Remind Them of the Truth – This is a truth I shared frequently with my son. I would say it when I faced my own difficulties and when he had a small crisis – a hardship that was a bump in the road, not a major road block. I’d also repeat it when we were struggling with stories found in the Bible. Some things that He allowed to happen didn’t seem very loving. The idea is to be sensitive in teaching your child this truth. Use it to prepare them for future trials, and be careful of using it during a crisis – it could harden their heart.
What is this truth? It goes something like this, “We have to accept that there are some mysteries of God. We can’t always understand or like God’s ways, but we also have to understand that we don’t know what He does. He is wiser than us. We have to trust that He loves us so much, He is working for our very best.” If you listened to Seth’s interview in Part 1, you heard him encourage other kids to trust God. I’m so thankful it’s a message my son has taken to heart!
*Help Them Create a Prayer Journal – This can be very simple or very elaborate. You can use a basic notebook or a 3 ringed binder, like we did. Either way, help them to make a section for them to record their prayer requests and another for their praises. You’ll want them to note the date, the request or praise, and leave space to write the date of when their request was answered. Everyone in our family has made one of these journals, and this is what our prayer request pages look like at the top:
Date: My Request: Date Answered:
We chose to use a nice binder with a clear cover on the front because it’s durable and easy for kid’s to decorate their own cover. I’d love to show you Seth’s but he used such dark colors a picture doesn’t turn out well. He simply wrote on a colored sheet of paper “Seth’s Prayer Journal”, His greatest prayer ever answered (normal oxygen level) and the date it happened (July 22, 2009), and his favorite verse. Allow your child to decorate it anyway they want. Let them make it extra special and just for them.
Of course, little ones will need Mom or Dad’s help to fill their journals in.
Encourage your older children to occasionally look through their journal. This will help them to notice when old prayers have been answered. It would be nice if they’d share it with you, but do respect their privacy. Ask is they’d like to share what they see God doing. Remind them that sometimes God answers our prayers right away. Sometimes, it takes awhile. This activity will help them to see that God is with them and that He really does hear their prayers.
If you have any questions about any of “Ground Work/Relationship Building” steps, don’t hesitate to e-mail me at kimberly@kimberlyehlers.com.
Through these steps your child will learn more about who God is, how to have a relationship with Him and that God is actively involved in their life. That’s laying serious ground work that will weather any storm!
In His Love,
Kimberly
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Need family devotions? Did you know that The Heart Connection subscribers receive a family and a parent devotion with each ezine completely free? How do you get The Heart Connection? Just fill out the form on the upper right hand corner of this page. You can also purchase past devotions in my e-books “Family Challenge Devotions” books 1 and 2. Add them to your Wish List for July 15th’s gigantic 1st Year Healthy Heart Anniversary sale!
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